humility

whenever I reflect on humility I find myself contradicting my hopes or beliefs
... 
for  I see it as,
in order for one to be humble, they cannot know it.
because this manner is not one that is to be recognized in oneself, and yet still lived. 
in order for humility to be, it must be God's shadow in you.

how silly of me

why is it, that one’s absence is replaced with them being objectified?
for now, all I recognize or see of him is his bloody taunting car.
although, this loss has me inviting Him into my life so much more—& i gain hope.